De-conversion Doesn't Have a "Moment"
Sometimes it hard to admit to yourself that you don't identify with your identity anymore. For as long as I've had an identity, it has been wrapped up in the word "Christian", specifically the fundamentalist variety. I wanted my relationship with Jesus to completely consume me and leave me with no other identity and no errant belief. My entire life would be spent in gratitude to God for saving me from the hell I deserved. It was my responsibility to try to love others the way God loved me: by hoping for them to start to follow Jesus too, so that God and I could accept them into our spiritual family. Then slowly, one by one, my fundamentalist beliefs started shifting , starting first with my beliefs about evolution, then my beliefs about homosexuality, then my beliefs about the inspiration of the Bible, then my beliefs about sexual purity, then my beliefs about salvation only through Christ, then my beliefs about hell. For about five years, my identity bec...