tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2229462780883907840.post1769136252570382971..comments2023-12-09T17:01:39.079-08:00Comments on Past Tense, Present Progressive: "Biblical" Parenting, Criticism #3: A Parent Who Tries to Change Minds and Hearts through SpankingLatebloomerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18261932798380141520noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2229462780883907840.post-51406561034910441212021-08-23T14:46:57.612-07:002021-08-23T14:46:57.612-07:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Alexfrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18362297960327329544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2229462780883907840.post-89150925508286036722019-11-30T02:34:53.139-08:002019-11-30T02:34:53.139-08:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Ashar jamal (SEO)https://www.blogger.com/profile/16333017357925947193noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2229462780883907840.post-2800626638683446382019-11-27T02:31:56.628-08:002019-11-27T02:31:56.628-08:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Ashar jamal (SEO)https://www.blogger.com/profile/16333017357925947193noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2229462780883907840.post-12987944266265203512019-11-25T01:55:09.573-08:002019-11-25T01:55:09.573-08:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Ashar jamal (SEO)https://www.blogger.com/profile/16333017357925947193noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2229462780883907840.post-63207927464008341912019-02-07T04:09:46.826-08:002019-02-07T04:09:46.826-08:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.MR MADhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11006091473803841039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2229462780883907840.post-33558201096057491802017-10-25T07:52:25.846-07:002017-10-25T07:52:25.846-07:00I think there are two main goals when parenting,1 ...I think there are two main goals when parenting,1 have a loving relationship with your children and 2 have children who respect your authority. I have seen two short comings in parenting which I’d like to address. What I have seen occasionally in the christian church is abuse. Yanking a child around and intimidating them with your force is abuse, saying threatening things and exercising discipline inappropriately is terrible and it makes me sick. When I see this being done in the name of God or Christianity my stomach gets in knots and I want to scream, NOOOO! Sometimes this occurs because people don’t know better or they think this is the way to have a child respect your authority. Unfortunately it produces terrible results, perhaps the child will submit to your authority for a time but they will not respect it, you also will have no relationship with your child because they don’t trust you. It is a lose-lose parenting outcome. The second type of parenting I have seen is parents who revert to psychology and refuse to spank their child at all. Those parents appear exhausted to me. Constantly "negotiating with terrorists" and manipulating and compromising over every little thing. I’d also note that the children are extremely unhappy despite getting almost everything they want. This type of parenting while not ideal is at least better than the first type. I believe these parents will eventually still have a loving relationship with their child, if the child is not too unbearable to be around. Sometimes life will (fortunately) teach these children that they are not the center of the universe even if the parents won’t. I have raised 4 children while not very many by some standards, I find so much peace and enjoyment in my family and believe we are in the middle. My children respect our authority but they also love us. They tease us, have fun with us, love being around us, I rarely spank them now, but when they were little yes I did calmly, lovingly, spank them. How can you calmly spank a child? Is this post going to be erased because it “advocates abuse” maybe, but I sincerely hope not. I pray you can listen, we take our children after a transgression e.g. I said no to something they didn’t obey, I asked them to come, they ran away, and I spank them, using as few words as possible I explain to them what was wrong, spank them and we move on. I also don't force them not to cry or keep spanking them til they stop crying. Sheash people use common sense it hurts and they will cry thats okay. I’d also say we exercise caution in only spanking them on their butt and whatever I use to spank my child I have first regularly tried out on my own butt to see how much it hurts. So that I know what I am doing to my child and I don’t do something that is too harsh and I later regret. My children are happy, they get a long with each other, they don’t fight with us or other children. I sincerely never knew how much peace and love a home could have til I learned this. I don’t wait til they have disobeyed 3 times or I have counted to 3 or I have tried to manipulate them by rephrasing what I asked for, kids are not stupid. They know abuse and they know when you are exercising self control and sacrificing yourself to lovingly discipline them. Does fundamental christian parenting occasionally abuse children in the name of the Lord, yes I also have seen that and it makes me sick. Mainly because people then throw out the baby with the bath water and don’t realize their is a middle way… If you are so sure christians are close minded please consider this post before throwing it out. We all love our kids and want whats best for them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2229462780883907840.post-21927010570508696692017-07-16T09:54:36.464-07:002017-07-16T09:54:36.464-07:00Constant forgetfulness, violating unspoken rules, ...Constant forgetfulness, violating unspoken rules, and resistance to touch are all things I experience as an autistic person. I can't help it, Reb, and I'm an adult.<br /><br />Child abusers are scum, doubly so when ableism contributes to their motivations.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10223199843241440809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2229462780883907840.post-2347634373783773522017-05-26T03:15:57.206-07:002017-05-26T03:15:57.206-07:00As a parent and counselor I am thankful for your d...As a parent and counselor I am thankful for your dissection of this individual's skewed belief about discipline.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2229462780883907840.post-85440786940601457412012-09-19T22:04:37.148-07:002012-09-19T22:04:37.148-07:00I agree with you Latebloomer. I agree with you Latebloomer. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2229462780883907840.post-36808911459042075242012-09-13T23:07:53.574-07:002012-09-13T23:07:53.574-07:00Thanks for the encouragement, Katty! It's a d...Thanks for the encouragement, Katty! It's a depressing topic to write about, but it's something that's really important to me to process now that I'm a new mother. <br /><br />Although I don't think that spanking will ever become illegal in the US (because it will be perceived as religious persecution), I think that it's still possible to reduce it in the US by educating parents about other options. Latebloomerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18261932798380141520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2229462780883907840.post-69632590191848896012012-09-12T05:48:47.280-07:002012-09-12T05:48:47.280-07:00I've been reading quite a lot of blog posts on...I've been reading quite a lot of blog posts on the topic of fundamentalist "discipline" and spanking recently, so the examples you bring and the arguments you make are not all that new to me. Nevertheless, I greatly admire the thought and effort you are obviously putting into this series. I very much admire how comprehensive and well thought-out your posts are and it's great to have such an exhaustive discussion of the many aspects of this topic in one place.<br /><br />What really gets me, personally, is that this kind of corporal punishment (or rather, physical abuse, IMO) is actually legal in a supposedly developed country like the US. (In about two fifth of all states not only parents but even teachers may legally spank children!) Where I'm from, this kind of violence (though by no means inexistent) is at least prohibited by law. While I am well aware that outlawing it does not in and of itself end spanking immediately, I do believe this is an important step in the right direction because<br />- it sends a signal that children have rights and will be protected (even against their parents, if necessary);<br />- it does away with any discussion about what constitutes "reasonable physical force" and makes *any* physical force against children unreasonable (personally, I think this is one of the very few instances where the argument of the "slippery slope" has any merit);<br />- over time, I do believe it makes spanking less socially acceptable and therefore less common.<br /><br />Anyway, I'm looking forward to future posts in this series. Keep up the good work, Latebloomer!Kattynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2229462780883907840.post-21138389253437388242012-09-07T18:35:05.525-07:002012-09-07T18:35:05.525-07:00wow. This is awful.... My theology is to put mys...wow. This is awful.... My theology is to put myself in the arms of God as a little child and God never hits me but patientlt instructs me... I am so sad that this "christian" is spreading these awful theories. The child can never do anything.Chantalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00184616275088281652noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2229462780883907840.post-34146349422872982682012-09-05T10:28:08.698-07:002012-09-05T10:28:08.698-07:00His theories are simply horrifying. I have enough...His theories are simply horrifying. I have enough trouble with decision-making and self esteem thanks in part to an incredibly controlling upbringing. I can't imagine even being able to function if my entire childhood had consisted of being hit.Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14775794907218052899noreply@blogger.com