Wednesday, February 15, 2012

There are 2 of me

There are really 2 of me.  There must be.  Luckily, they are separated by about 10 years, but they are so completely different that neither would like or recognize the other if they were able to meet.

Teen Me was the product of a lifetime of homeschooling in an environment of extreme isolation and control, plagued by severe social phobia, intensely and deeply devoted to pleasing a fundamentalist God, in denial about my depression, repressing all sexuality in the name of purity and courtship and female submission, repressing anger and opinions in the name of peace with my parents, and convinced that gayfeministliberals were ruining the country.

Now 30-Year-Old Me is less able to see the world in black and white.  Finally out in the real world, I feel my non-religious or non-Christian friends are usually far kinder and accepting people than I grew up around.  I am learning how to express my opinions and my feelings instead of bottling up everything inside me.  I am practicing maintaining healthy boundaries rather than being a doormat to controlling and abusive people.  I am realizing that I can be a fun and interesting person who is not just considered a charity case by my friends.  I see myself and my husband as a team, and I see my baby boy as a good person.  I am pretty sure that people like Teen Me are creating a toxic environment in this country, haha.

What is the connection between these 2 people and how did one become the other?  That is what I hope to explore with this blog.